As I walked back to our Inn in Kauai I realized I had finally completed something very important, and now in the completion I could choose something new.
Why is it that we put off completing things?
Everybody knows the inertia of not making the one phone call or visit to the one person he or she really wants to talk to. I can remember putting off for months calling my “quality client list” by keeping myself busy with other clients, and administrative tasks.
What are we afraid of? Are we afraid that they will say “yes” or that they will say “no”? Perhaps we are afraid of the completion, because completion means we must and will change. Not completing is a passive form of control.
My Hawaii Story:
I visited Hawaii many years ago on a business trip that stretched out to four months. I fell absolutely head-over-heels in love with it. At the end of the four months, I had to leave. I felt that what happened was due to circumstances “beyond my control”.
I missed it so much I could hardly stand it, and I tried to make plans to return. But, something always got in the way. I chose to let circumstances and people keep me from returning. Always in the back of my mind I thought, “If it wasn’t for _____ fill in the blank-I could live in Hawaii.”
Eleven years from the month I left, I returned for a visit. Note this: it took me 11 years just to go back to visit my favorite place in the world. Does this sound familiar? When I said to myself, “I am visiting no matter what. I am not waiting any longer for the whole world to fall in place before I can move back. I will simply visit and not worry about living there,” I finally got on the plane. After making that first choice towards completion, the rhythm of my life became more graceful and abundant.
A year later, I returned twice for a visit. For 12 years, I had kept part of my life on hold thinking that if people, places, and things would go my way I would live in Hawaii. As I returned for a third visit my thinking had progressed enough to tell myself (and believe it), “You can live in Hawaii if you want to.”
On the first day back, I loved it even more than I remembered, and at the same time realized I didn’t want, or need, to live there. Since I was no longer blaming other people and circumstances for not being able to live in Hawaii I could see clearly that my desire was based on not completing my first visit, and thinking that something was taken from me, “outside of my control.” Although I still want to visit Hawaii as much as possible, it is no longer necessary or desirable for me my choice to live there.
It’s like shopping. Have you ever thought to yourself that you really, really, really want new clothes or something for your house or workshop so you finally put the money together, go shopping saying to yourself, “You can spend this money on anything you want”, and realized there was nothing you really wanted to buy? The desire to have what we feel we can’t have gets in the way of living our life.
Sometimes we think we want a relationship we thought have we lost, or someone who doesn’t desire us. Or, we want a new job, or a new place to live. Not completing what we need to do in regard to any or all of these “wants” is a fabulous way to not live our life by blaming circumstances “beyond our control”.
My completing, by taking action, on my desire to move to Hawaii and then realizing that it was no longer my desire; opened a brand new door for me and new choices more wonderful than I could have planned. This is because once something is completed we can move on. It may mean that we do get what we think we want, or it may result in the realization that we don’t want it after all. Which direction it goes is not what is important; what is important is that we complete something, and in that completion, we find freedom.
For me, this completion means that I could now change my mind and decide to live in Hawaii after all – or not, but it was my choice. I could stop blaming people, places, and circumstances for not doing what I want to do.
We all have uncompleted tasks, agendas and desires. No matter how small they seem to us, they are important. They are stopping the natural rhythm and flow of our lives. When we straddle the fence of un-completion, nothing can happen. Once we get off the fence, and begin to take the steps necessary to complete the task, life dream, phone call, book, picture, dream house, or dream life, circumstances and events rush in to help us.
Change is inevitable. Change is going to happen whether we desire it to or not. Best to make change a personal choice than change that results from having to fix things after the wakeup call that results in broken relationships, accidents, illness or any other form of tragedy.
In fact, nothing is ever the same from one minute to the next. Try looking at something and then moving just one foot away and looking again. Does it look the same? No. Personal perspective always determines what we see and personal perspective changes every moment. Change is always happening. We just pretend that it isn’t.
The truth is it takes more effort to not complete and change than it takes to let completion and change happen. Not completing and changing is hard work. Trying not to change is like standing in a flowing stream and trying not to move. How do we do it? In order to not move we have to hang on and make ourselves heavy and rigid.
Completing and change takes faith and courage, just like letting go and flowing with the stream, but it is simple once we start. Completing brings with it a wave of fresh insight and energy and unlimited new blessing we never thought possible and the tools necessary to enjoy and benefit from the resulting change.
Take the time to begin to complete just one unfinished dream or task. Don’t waste time figuring it out which one, just pick one start somewhere. Take that small step and be ready to see the open doors that have been ready and waiting for you to walk through them. It is the law of the universe to complete and move on, complete and move on, complete and move on. Each cycle is an ever-expanding one. Expanding and emerging is all that is going on. Let’s pick up our feet and dance with the music of completion and change. This is a dance that we all can do and will always result in increased freedom and joy.